Born in a Hindu family and educated in a Christian school, I grew up with conflicted concepts of the Almighty. It seemed irrational to me that the God that created humanity, should be human himself. I have always believed that humans are imperfect, no human, however impeccable in character and judgment, was good enough to be God. So, I grew up with no religion at all.Even up to later childhood the concept of Islam was not clear to me. Like most Hindu children, I did not understand what the five adhans meant, why people offered their prayers to graves, or who the people were bowing in front of when they prayed in mosques. But, my mother was a Ghazal singer, who was born and raised in Lucknow, in close proximity to many Muslims, and the core Muslim culture. She had more than tolerance for Islam as a religion of people she knew; she had a sense of reverence for the Religion of Peace. She taught me the words "La Ilaaha iIl Allah Muhammadur RasooIillah", and just to know those words, without even understanding their meaning, opened the doors that would someday lead me to being a follower.
My true introduction to Islam came at a later age, when my hunt for answers to my spiritual questions grew frantic, and some friends of mine told me about the basic tenets of this wonderful religion. I understood, in those first few sessions of enlightenment, how Islam was based on the basic goodness of the heart. I found a religion in which simple things like Peace, Charity, Sacrifice, and Dedication form the basic fundamentals of life. In which God does not need to have a form to be identified. A religion in which God begins is where our imagination ends.
I read about Islam, as much as I could. I read about its practices and found that it was everything I always wanted a religion to be. Since then I converted into a Muslim, and have been so ever since. I am proud to say that the religion I follow has no room for ignorance and superstition. The religion I follow treats every man equally, and a person is not judged by his family or caste, but the purity of his conscience. And, most importantly every man has a right to be forgiven, whenever he opens his heart to the true goodness inside him. I am happy knowing that I follow a religion that is not based on the blind faith resulting from a smothering of the intellect beyond repair, but grows from within it, where every reasonable query is answered with a rational explanation. There is no doubt in this religion which can satisfy your intellect and take it to a higher level of understanding.
When I converted, I did not have much to build upon but myself. I read about Islam as much as I could, and went after resources for knowledge wherever I could find them. From knowledgeable elders, to the internet, to translations of the Holy Quran, my quest for knowledge took me everywhere. I learnt how to offer the daily prayers correctly. Observed fasts in the month of Ramadan. And I did all the little things that could fill the gaps in one's transition to being a Muslim. There is still a constant jihad going on inside me to be a better Muslim every day, to pray all five times a day, and be more righteous. The yardstick is different when you are not a Muslim by birth. One has to do everything just right to have people take their religious conviction seriously. But if anything, the steep climb renews my faith in my identity as a Muslim every day.
They say that the only thing God does not control is man's free will. What could be better then, if your own free will leads you to God?"
- Sanchari
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